Assignment 4

Lately in class we have been talking about the polarity between genders and the dangers it can cause. In one exercise the class called out characteristics that would be given to a man, and did the same for a woman. Most of theme descriptions are what you would expect and cleary shows a separations between the two. We have touched on the forces in the world that create these distinctions whether it be through instances of "patriarchy" or just everything we are subjected to. And now we introduce the variable of violence into the mix. As stated in class, most rapes occur by men against women. We live in a so called "rape culture" where nearly everything we see on a daily basis suggests that women are merely objects.
On the topic of how what we see in life directly relates to how we treat others, I think it just depends on the person. We heard a statistic in class that said of all college males surveyed 56% said they would commit rape if they knew they could get away with it. I find that number hard to believe. I am not saying rape does not happen at the frequency stated in other facts, just that that particular statistic is hard to swallow. As a man I have grown up seeing what all these men have, and Im not out there just raping away. I watch plenty of movies where women are just in them to be pretty objects held by the male hero. I have listened to rap music with some pretty explicit lyrics towards women. Just because I see these things does not mean I am going to go out into the world and do these things. This reminds me of the debate of playing violent video games and if these kids will go out shooting people in the real world. Another argument deals with a kid who shot his school and blamed the shooting on the fact that he listened to Marilyn Manson's music.
I think it is time to change. First off we need to stop blaming other crap for our wrong doings. No movie, tv show, music video, or any other type of media action should ever be blamed for something a person does. Do we live in a rape culture? It is hard to say, maybe its more accurate to say we live in a more provocative culture, vastly different from the one our grandparents grew up in. I think it all comes back to how we are raised. The values instilled upon us at a young age by our family and friends will be with us much longer than some image we see in a music video.
As for the way I was raised, I think my parents did a pretty damn good job. I am the youngest in the family and did not really grow up around girls, except for the older women in my family. I was always taught to repsect the women in my life, rather that be friends or family or a partner. I could never imagine hurting my mother, and because of that I will never be able to harm another woman. I am strong and I hide my emotions like most men do, and as suggested in the description of men. This does not mean I dont have emotions. I have cried and without a doubt will again in the future. But I will not cry in front of others. It takes something very personal for me to cry be that the death of a loved one of the ending of a relationship. Because the nature of me doing that is so personal to me I like to deal with my emotions in the privacy of my own home. Just because I look fine on the outside does not mean I am not hurting on the inside. But I choose to deal with it in my own way, and that means not letting others see it. Not because I think it is a sign of weakness, just because I see it as a problem I have to deal with on my own. The notion that we are growing a crop of emotionless guys is ridiculous. All guys hurt. Thats a fact.